Shit That Makes Me Go, "Dafuq?"

It's summer time, and honestly, I have nothing better to do than work, drink, make an ass of myself, and repeat. I'm pretty okay with this. It's generally how I live my life the rest of the year too, only there's some schooling thrown in there somewhere. I do a lot of stupid shit. My life very rarely has rhyme or reason to it. I just kind of do things at will, and things just kind of happen to me. At will.

My point is, things don't really phase me that much.

Sometimes, however, there's shit that goes down that blows my mind.

Let me begin:

1. Matcha powder. I don't even know how to explain this. Just....caffeine and antioxidants and green tastiness in a super green latte. Just....matcha. The first time I had it, I seriously almost orgasmed. My toes curled, my eyes rolled, I melted into my shoes. And I wanted more. It's one of my favorite things in the world. Rawr!
2. Subletting. Whoever came up with this idea was a genius. Want to get out of a shit housing situation and give yourself time to find a new place? Sublet. As someone who gets herself into random housing situations all the goddamn time and travels way too damn much, subletting is a godsend.
3. My anger management. I have anger issues. Seriously, it's fuckin' crazy all up in my brain when I get mad. I want to throw things and strangle people and hit walls and break chairs over people's heads. I've seriously considered becoming an MMA fighter because of this. No, I'm not kidding. It's actually probably one of the main reasons that I have very active jobs--custodian, laborer, busser--I can take it out on the inanimate objects. But, I'm really, really good at keeping it in. Instead, I just imagine the terrible things I'd do to people instead of doing them. Like last night? I was pissed the fuck off. At work, no less. But what did I do? I used it instead to get all my work done like a boss and all the while imagined throwing shit at the person I was mad at, or just throwing shit all over in general. I really don't think my manager would have appreciated broken glass everywhere. And I kind of need to keep my job. So, go me. I blew my own mind.
4. Boys. Do I even need to say more? Just....boys.....see above.
5. Caffeine. This also goes back to number one. Shit blows my mind, every time. I mean, I've done drugs. Come ups and trippin' balls is crazy, but caffeine....it always sneaks up on me. I'm all cool, and then BAM! It takes me out on a date, we go to the club, we get drunk and high, jump some fences, steal some art, and I wake up in some dude's room without my pants and my car is still up in Olympia. I am a serious caffeine addict. I'm pretty sure I need a twelve-step program for this.
6. People who honestly have no respect for anyone else. Who the fuck do you think you are? I respect your privacy, your space, your thoughts and opinions, now get on it and respect everyone else's!
7. Turkey sandwiches. Dafuq in a good way.
8. My grandmother. Seriously, she's as crazy as I am. I never knew this. She drinks brass monkeys with me. Wants to get a tattoo with my cousin and I. Who are you, Grandma? And what has taken so long for us to realize this potential???
9. Sleep. What is this, and why do I have to have it? I want to stay up, and do things, and be crazy, and eat all of the Sour Patch Pids and then crash in the middle of the kitchen floor at 4 in the morning. Ooohhhh wait....that's why adults have alcohol and caffeine and do really dumb things like put the two together. Duh.
10. Tampons. I dunno. They just....freak me out.
11. Being an adult. It's bullshit. It's not even true. There is no such thing, because no adult actually knows what they're doing or even how to be an "adult". We're all just milling around in a constant state of confusion. We might have a pretty good idea of where we're going and what we should do, but there are so many fucking variables that we can't even keep up. So we fake it. Tell me I'm wrong. There is maturity. I believe in maturity. But adulthood...that's an invention.
12. The meaning of life. I've found one person in my entire life who thinks he's got that shit all figured out. He claims it's building meaningful relationships. And perhaps he's on the right track.  It's definitely a good thought for life in general. I also think this guy is full of complete shit all the time....mostly because he makes so much fun of me, I'm not sure which way is up. So I punch him in the chest for being an asshat, drink his beers and refuse to give him my tobacco.
13. Annnnddd the gay-ass music that my roommates listen to. I don't use "gay" often as a derogatory term. I try to be respectful. I have friends who are gay. But sometimes, something is just gay. The music my roommates listen to is definitely gay. It's like new-age wanna be hard-core rock and screamo and pop and it confuses me and it's not even musically interesting. It's boring.

There's so much more. But it's too much for my brain to handle. I need a break from dafuq-ing.