Things That Seriously Freak Me Out

1. The six degrees of separation. I was just pwned by the six degrees on, of course, Facebook. Some guy that I met at a party 3 years ago and had a short thing with alllll the way on the coast is friends with a chick that I became friends with through my friend, both of whom live here. What the crap? And then he randomly added me. My mind is blown. There is more to this story. Much more. I think I'm scared to know.
2. Love. Love scares the ever living shit out of me. It can crush you, stab you, smack you in the face, stomp on your toes, cum in your eye and shoot you in the head. And I am still willing to just give it all away, but at the same time, so up-tight with letting people completely in....maybe that's why it scares me. Maybe it scares me to know that I am willing to give my love, but what if no one's willing to take it? What if no one's willing to give me any? What if they're willing to give and accept, but then all of a sudden they just withdraw everything? Just thinking about it makes me want to shit my pants. Moving on.
3. Cleaning my room. Maybe this is just a lazy thing. But I don't really know. It just....freaks me out. Probably because I just don't want to deal with the huge mess I have made of my personal space.
4. Running out of weed. Seriously. I have held on to the weed I bought a month ago, and smoked it sparingly, and running out of the amazing green makes my purse feel empty. And that...is a scary thing.
5. Not making decisions. Like, really? Being stuck in limbo sucks. I don't like it. Keep the ball rolling, people.
6. My eyebrows. They are a hot mess. All the time. Even when groomed. I can't continue talking about this.
7. I lost my grape Swishers. I'm really, really sad. And freaked out that I can't find them. I haven't been able to smoke in a week because I'm too much of a cheap-ass to buy more right now. And it's making me irritated....
8. Nausea. It gives me some freaky anxiety.
9. How bloated smoking cigarettes actually makes me. It's freakin weird. Does anyone else have this problem? Maybe it's just that I ate really late last night and THEN I smoked, which my body absolutely hates and makes me nauseous (see above).
10. My ridiculous addiction to caffeine. I think we've talked about this before. But it's actually kind of scary. One nice big mug full of freshly brewed espresso roast, then an hour later a tall soy matcha green tea latte with extra ice and 12 scoops of matcha, then two hours later a sugar and carb free berry Rockstar, then about three hours later another green tea latte. I get the shakes in the morning if I don't have it. I'm not kidding. But I guess it would be worse.
11. I have a very serious phobia of riding down hills on my bicycle. Have we talked about this before too? Maybe. I don't really know. I do know that I have it. It's real. It's the reason I need new brakes at more frequent intervals than the rest of society. But I do it anyway.

I am proud to say that I am a woman who, when she knows what she wants, she goes for it, no matter how scary the journey is, because the end result is usually incredible.

So go. Find those things that freak you out so bad, you almost cry. And then stomp on your fear, smoosh its guts out, pick it up with a paper towel, throw it in the trash, and go. Do. Be. Live. Experience. Love.