Shit To Bring Travelling

I do lots of travelling. I mean, a lot. I was born a traveller. Or made one by my crazy-ass family. I dunno. But my first trip anywhere was a road trip to Alaska in my grandparents' motor home when I was five. It was super bomb, and all downhill from there. As a traveller, I have learned that there are very essential things you should bring with you, especially if you are a broke-bitch like me that drives home to the coastal region every weekend because Spokane is stupid and hot.

1. Your change jar. This has saved my life more than once. You never know when you're going to forget a pin number, your gift card actually has five dollars instead of twenty-five, or you leave your mulah on the seat next to you and it flies out the window as you're singing Fleetwood Mac at the top of your lungs. Great example of the importance of this little guy: this past weekend, I was driving back to Lameville and I was getting close to Empty. No big deal, I have some money on a plasma debit card because I'm cool and donate plasma to people that need to live. So I get to Moses Lake, and I need to stop to get gas. Bop on in to the station like the bad ass I always am, whip out my card and it doesn't work. I try four different pin numbers and nothing. The guy runs it as credit. DENIED. Motherfuckingbitch hobags. If I don't fill up, I will never make it back and be stuck in the middle for the rest of my life and I'll have to find a job at a sketchy gyro restaurant where they yell at me in Greek and I cry next to the back door that's stained black from dirty hoes. Luckily, I have a backup plan, like I always do, because I am quick on my feet. Change. I have change in my purse, my dad throws change in the cigarette tray, and there's random change stuck in the cup holders. Fuck yeah, and I have two dollars in my wallet. Twelve bucks worth of quarters and dimes later, I am on the road with three gallons of gas. Let this be a lesson to you: don't be an idiot and forget your pin numbers. And bring a change jar.
2. A towel. Listen to Towelie. Don't forget to bring a towel.
3. A pillow and a blanket. Because you might get stuck in the middle of a blizzard and you run out of gas and no one knows where you are because the radio towers were destroyed so you're forced to live out the week huddled around a crappy fire that you made out of the can of oil you found in the trunk and a can of green beans. Okay, probably not. But if you're going a long way and you're staying with people, they appreciate not having to provide everything for you. Or maybe you're a night driver and you need to take a break, take a nap before you get to your destination. Nothing makes for a good car nap like your own pillow. And seriously, that crazy blizzard shit happens. Be prepared.
4. Road snacks. Travelling causes hunger. This is a proven fact, brought to you by the Institute of Jessica Who Is Obsessed With Travel. Bring things that are good for you, that help with circulation. Sitting and getting slammed with all those g-forces is hard on you. Veggie tray, some spicy snacks, trail mix, protein bars, Rockstars, green tea. Those last three things are mostly for crazy people like me, who like to drive, again, at night and run 12 miles every day. I need my caffeine to keep me awake, and my protein to keep me alive, lol. Anyway, food. Again, you never know what you're going to get stuck in a deadly blizzard. Or just get really bored.
5. Sunscreen, sunglasses, sandals, an extra change of clothes and a map (in case you are too broke to have a gps). Just in case you want to stop at random beaches and sit in the sun for a bit.
6. Liquid bodywash, toothpaste and a toothbrush. Seriously, I have some of this just hangin' out in my car, just in case. Maybe you forget your shampoo. Maybe you forget your entire toiletry bag. Maybe you hang out and get drunk at your friend's house so much that you practically live on his couch....no one likes a dirty mouth, and no one likes a dirty girl. Voila, backup.
7. A travel mug. I have one and use it every friggin' day, and I use it for everything....it's so helpful. Iced tea? No problem. Hot coffee? No problem. Cereal? Done. Protein shake? Perfect. Need somewhere to hide your weed or cigarettes from your mom? This is your answer.
8. A Leatherman or Gerber or multi-tool of some kind. It will get you out of things in a pinch, and get you to the proper tool before your shit falls apart. I just carry mine around in my purse. I was driving home from Baker City, Oregon once, and my fuel filter was cloggin' my shit, causing my engine to die on the side of the road. I didn't have proper tools, but I had a new filter and a Leatherman. Whipped out the knife, chopped that bitch out, slapped the new one in and voila, got home to mechanic Dad. Fuck yeah. Success.
9. A bike rack, complete with amazeballs bicycle and bike pump and bike lock. Okay, so this isn't really necessary, but if you have an obsession with being active and finding all sorts of places to hike and bike while you drive through places, you need this. I just drive around with my bike on the back of my car, and my bike locked to the rack. Who knows when I'm going to need my bike? What if I run out of gas and I have to get somewhere quick-snap like a gas station to get gas to bring back to my car? Hell yeah, I have a bike. And what if you meet some random bicycling dude at 3 in the morning at the beach, become friends and he needs a ride home? You have a bike rack, bitch. Give that guy a ride home.
10. A five-gallon gas tank and jumper cables and a flash light. At one point in your life, you will need all of these things. And at one point in your life, you will need all of these at once.....I used to drive a 1971 Bug, okay? Don't judge me.

Experience, bro. Don't knock it. I know things. Be prepared. And travel your little heart out, get lost, meet random people at 3 am, and eat waffles and mimosas for breakfast on Saturdays when you get to your destination. You deserve it, you just went on an adventure to get to the people you love. =)