More Random Shit That Happens To Me

1. Buys a blueberry protein smoothie of deliciousness, drinks half, leaves other half in the car for a half hour, comes back and has magically created yogurt. Great success?
2. While walking across the parking lot from staples to my car, some random old dude yells from his car, "It's about time for some shorts, huh?" Well, yes, old man, it is hot and I only own pants, but that was the most random thing ever. Trying to strike up a conversation from your car with some girl who's walking across the parking lot? I know men are completely awkward, but even the old ones never grow out of it.
3. I go to clean out my hair brush and I find blonde hairs in the bristles. Either someone's using my brush, or I have some blonde hairs all up in there. That might explain some things.
4. I'm rummaging through the pantry, looking for something to eat when I find a giant bag of sugar cookie mix and two liter jars of pepperoncinis. One, I am bored and broke and I love to bake. Two, I absolutely love pepperoncinis and have had this intense craving for spicy things lately. So, I eat a fourth of a jar of pepperoncinis while I bake all of the cookies in the world. Where did I come from? Well, pretty sure God was like, "You are going to be weird and crazy and awesome." And I was like, "Fuck yeah." And God was like, "Fuck yeah." And then we high-fived and I was born.
5. I sing "schmee, schmah, schmeh, schmoooo" for every song ever.
6. I get a dollar raise after working at my current job for only five months. I've never gotten a raise in my life. I feel like I should get a metal for this.
7. I moved to get away from my small town for a bit, be somewhere else for awhile...and I miss home like crazy. The change of pace was a good plan, and I really am going somewhere now, but I just get so homesick. Funny how that works.
8. Farts that make noises are more satisfying.
9. I make songs about meth lab mooses.
10. I have seen four large, bright meteorites, all while I was facing west, at the same time of night, in the same spot, in the past month and a half. I'm starting to think it means something. Life is fuckin' weird.
11. I forget that I only have one earring in because it was bothering me while I slept, and I drive home at 3 in the morning, and stop at gas stations to get noms and every single person looks at me like I'm doing the walk of shame. I'm kind of proud of myself, lol.
12. I feel like people think I'm more wild and crazy than I am--all gettin' rowdy, getting intoxicated, causing scene, waking up in some random place....which, okay, is sometimes true, but these occasions are much less frequent than people think. Honestly, I'm actually a good girl most of the time, usually spending my days off buying dishes for my apartment, baking cookies and being excited about a new griddle I just bought.

Shit gets crazy. And then you smoke yourself sober. Being an artist....yeah. That stuff happens.